The phone rings. can gets up and answers it. The lights come on in full glow.

CAN: Can Themba speaking, how may I help you? Hallo! [Pause.] Stompie, how many times must I tell you that working from home is not an invitation for you to invade my space any time you want? I have this phone so that I can be contactable when there are hot stories. What's this? [Pause.] Who said I want a regmakertjie? When I want a regmakertjie, I go to Thirty-Nine Steps, my favourite shebeen, and get it. I’m working right now. [Pause.] Maybe you should attend the opening of my abode this evening. It will be happening. You’ll drink as much as your liver can stand. [Pause.] Oh, Bloke told you? Feel free to tag along, then. See you later!

Stompie is my excuse for a friend. I prefer to consider him as a convenient acquaintance. He's actually great fodder for my stories, while also serving as my life insurance on the streets. You see, Sophiatown gangsters are always eager to take a man's life. Unless they know you, they can kill you just for looking at them. I have fallen victim to the knife-happy gangsters before, and they forced me to recite sonnets. They said to me, ‘Ek sê, Englishman, why don't you say those lovely Shakespeare poems for us?’ I feigned amnesia, claiming that I hadn't recited recently. They brandished a three-star okapi at my throat, and suddenly words flew out of my mouth: