African jazz starts playing. can turns around and goes to his wardrobe. He takes out his black-and-gold-striped University College of Fort Hare blazer, puts it on and drapes an academic gown over it. He is in a jolly mood, whistling as he arranges the chairs. He turns to the audience as the music fades away.

CAN: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my abode, where nothing but the truth is uttered. Here, the truth shall reign supreme. We shall have candid debates. Discussions without fear or favour. Straight talk guaranteed. No beating around the bush. No pretence. No bull.

They say the truth shall set you free. We say, you must be free and the truth will flow. If you need wine to induce the truth – as the Italians put it, in vino veritas – wine you shall get. We have no time for half-truths or untruths.

To start the proceedings of the evening, please open your hearts and ears to the melodious voice of one of the greatest musicians, film stars and cover girls in the whole of Africa – Dolly Rathebe!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Dolly understands the significance of this event. She knows the centrality of truth in our lives. Without it, we are hollow shells floundering on this cursed earth in search of our souls.

You may be wondering why I decided to put on my academic garb for this occasion. This is a big moment for me, and I believe that it should hold a greater significance for the nation at large.

In addition to my degree, I have written some award-winning stories and poems. You would think that with these achievements, only the sky is the limit. Unfortunately, this is not the case. The government has no business with certificates of achievement as long as you are a black man.