Sarah's PhD focuses on the experiences of the adult family members of child and youth homicide offenders. The experiences of this ‘hidden population’ are explored to investigate the impact that these uniquely distressing events have on differing aspects of their lives. Her research also aims to critically analyse the diverse nature of concepts such as victimhood, indirect victimisation, and disenfranchised grief.

Introduction

My story begins 23 years ago. This may seem unusual as this section of the book focuses more on the beginnings or early stages of the PhD journey and the many choices that must be considered. However, I must take you back to my past for my present journey to make sense. This is, however, challenging, as reflecting on a time when my whole world came crashing down around me is something that I scarcely do. Whether that be a response to childhood trauma or a coping mechanism of grief, the recollection of adversity for anybody is overwhelming. My chapter discusses some sensitive topics and experiences, yet I hope that my story can offer others a sense of confidence in themselves, especially when considering taking on the daunting yet profound task of a PhD.

The moment that changed everything

At 13 years old, I was a quiet, inquisitive, clever young girl. I was in Year 8 at secondary school and didn't have many friends as I had started at a senior school that none of my friends from junior school had progressed to. When I heard that a week-long school summer trip to the South of France was being organised, I jumped at the chance, as I thought this would be a great opportunity to make new friends, experience new things and have fun.