The Party is absolute.

Being born into a family steeped in communist traditions shortly after the initiation of Doi Moi, I, like most of the children of my generation, took certain truths for granted—one being “the Party is absolute.” Our textbooks were filled with narratives of the Party's glorious victories and monumental achievements. Adults around us would scorn and even punish us for any perceived disrespect towards the Party's leaders, even if unintentional. Stepping outside, banners in bright red proclaimed, “Long live the glorious Communist Party of Vietnam.” We spent numerous days each year celebrating the Party's milestones like the birth of Ho Chi Minh, the foundation of the Party, the battle of Dien Bien Phu and the liberation of the South. Children as young as nine were required to join the Ho Chi Minh Young Pioneer Organization and don the red scarf, which represents the socialist ideology and the blood of those who fought and died for the country under the leadership of the Party.

As a naturally curious and somewhat troublesome child, I often found myself in hot water for asking questions or expressing myself in ways that were not welcomed. I vividly remember my grandfather, a veteran of the First Indochina War, furiously tearing up my innocent parody poetry about Ho Chi Minh. While my friends found it humorous, it was the first time I saw my grandfather that angry. That incident quashed my aspirations of becoming a poet.

In university, I was appointed as the political commissar of my class, likely due to my academic achievements and my family's loyalty to the Party. After graduating, I was invited to a “Party membership preparation class”, a stepping stone to becoming a full-fledged Party member. In my final report, I criticized the Party's governance and economic policies. Only one person failed that class.

Moving overseas for higher education provided me with opportunities to speak with both refugees who had fled Vietnam post-1975 and foreign scholars studying the country. Their perspectives on the Communist Party of Vietnam starkly contrasted with what I had experienced back home as many among them considered the Party to be an oppressive, authoritarian regime that subjugated the Vietnamese people while yielding to China.